Tuesday, January 20, 2009

When a 凉水uncle became not so 凉 anymore

I met a dinosaur today (actually four of us met him including Bih Tong, Patricia and Ju Dee)! He is so ancient and he only speaks Chinese/Canto and he detests (more to the extent of abhor) ordinary people who speak English.

Chinese must speak Chinese/Cantonese or don't speak at all. English is like a foul language to all Chinese.

For those of you who can converse in English, do not show off this capability of yours when you plan to quench your thirst by ordering a glass of 凉水 [liáng shuǐ] (I just realized I don't know what it's called in English! 凉水uncle, please don't scold me because my English is so bad that I don't know what your products are called in your-most-hated language.) at a shop near Olympia College Ipoh. If you are stubborn and utter even a single word in English right in front of his shop, do not blame me for not warning you earlier because I already did.

So who was the victim of the day? It was not me but poor girl Ju Dee (who initially activated the lava in the volcanic brain of this old 凉水 man by asking Bih Tong about the names of the 凉水 written on the containers in ENGLISH!) got attacked with inaudible words mostly about how rotten to speak English at work and so on. He actually think we are working because of our uniform. Then, I corrected him by saying that we are still studying and he mumbled further about the evil side of English, I suppose.

We stood there, dumbfounded. Well, what could we say? We quickly flushed the 凉水 down our throats to prevent from getting our ears tortured further by his lecture.

(Olympia should considering hiring him as a part-time lecturer since he seemed to be able to talk so much in such a short time.)

Dear 凉水uncle, we are not athletes therefore we do not study at Olympics.
If only I could bend like those gymnasts I see on the television, I wouldn't be
seeing you today, would I? I would be off to some awesome country where 凉水uncles like you speak English or even French.

It was really 'nice' meeting you today. You taught me right what the teachers taught me wrong. Dinosaurs are not extinct. You are truly one in a million. Why don't you go and audition for One In A Million Season 3?

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