second week..

The second week of school has been a mixture of fun and stressful week. For one thing, I realised that I love MUET more and more. Phonetics is so interesting that I actually discovered so many words that I have mispronounced for so many years ever since I learnt to speak. And of course, that makes me realised the fact that I am so poor in English that I don't deserve to get A for the oral exams last year.

Other subjects did not capture my attention as much as MUET. I am so sick of studying in a class where I don't feel that I belong in it and the whole idea of continuing with science just bothers me a lot.

Chemistry is such a fascinating subject. The teacher is so well, I should say, near perfect and her teaching never goes wrong. There's not a moment of awkwardness during her lessons. Everything is well explained and I know there's no reason for me not to understand all the concepts she has so carefully drilled into our tedious brains. Maybe, it's only MY brain. But queer as it is, I still can't find myself well-suited enough to study it. My brain has been rejecting it countless times.

I shall not talk about Biology as I am no longer, maybe sort of, lost a total interest in the subject. I failed in my first attempt to use the microscope in the lab. In fact, I failed ALL the attempts. I just don't fit to use such gadgets. And I will never learn to. I am always lost when the teacher speaks. Every term seems so foreign to me. I don't even recall having heard such terms last two years. For instance, isn't cytoplasm and cytosol the same thing? Why is there two different words? And what on earth are plasmids? Do they appear as free particles as well in the cell?

I AM IN TOTAL CONFUSION!!

Time to chill out. I am going to read economics now. At least I feel comfortable and have the joy memorising all the facts. I am not exaggerating if I say I feel like I was born to study social science. I made the wrong choice last two years and I will never repeat my mistake again this year.