Crabs!
I could see two crabs. Yeah, should be two! My mom cooks delicious crabs. Yummy!
Will stop here as I am getting hungry looking at this delicious picture. That's all, folks!
No motivation at all to do anything. That includes updating this blog. Homework is still piling up. However, life is still enjoyable although there are times when sadness overwhelms me and my tears flow without consent. Those moments are really the ones that I detest the most. But I am trying my best to bear with it. Life is full of sweetness yet there are still gaps for moments of bitterness.
I love my life although it is somewhat unfair one way or another. Maybe that's just what I feel. God has a plan for me. In order for that plan to succeed, I need to experience pain and lots of other unpleasant events. Last month was not a great month for me with all the trials and turbulences I went through.
This month, I will be stronger to face any challenges and no longer dwell in the past, having self-pity for myself.
I am currently hooked onto a show and I am looking for a way to refrain myself from wasting too much time so that I can get back to my books. They have the ability to kill you just with the words printed on them.
Oh ya, I watched Blades Of Glory last Saturday. It was pretty good. Better than Mr. Bean. Very, very hilarious!
Another week to go and the chamber of torture reopens itself.
School is real fun, I tell you. Right, so I lied. I am dreading the time and trying my best to freeze time now albeit knowing that I what I am trying to do is to no avail. I love the moments when I have the best moments in life. Time is a wonderful thing. However, everything has its pros and cons. Time is also the enemy of mankind.
Have you ever noticed that our most troubled moments were the periods when time ticks by so slowly that causes us to lose control when we cannot bear it any longer? Losing control does not literally mean going crazy or berserk. Different individuals have different ways to express it. Some will find themselves crying, more applicable to girls, while the others might bottle up their emotions at the same time feeling remorseful. These are the moments we humans have to face in every stage of our lives.
People always say, "I wish I could just turn back time."
Is it possible? I would be more than glad to give a positive answer but the truth is, WE CAN'T. We just have to face the situation and absorb whatever that comes on the way just like sponge. Let it flow through us and when the time passes, we will be fine again without feeling horrible.
Everything fades with time.
Tomorrow will be a new day. I believe with this mindset, I can overcome this. My world seems empty without her presence. Whenever I think of the bad times, I cry. Even when I try to think of the happy moments I have had with her, I cry even harder. Possibly because I could never share anything with her again. I could no longer hear her, getting her to chase me or even feed her with the ever famous luncheon rice.
I remember the first night she came. I was carrying her in my arms, showing her the beautiful night lights in the city and hoping that she would watch. Then, she was too shy. She looked out of the window for a moment, then looked down again. I knew she would miss her family. Her mom and also her siblings. Albeit all these, I knew deep down in my heart, that she would grow to love me. And she did.
She was tiny and cuddly. Really miss the times when I hug her like a bear. When she was given her very first meal at home, I expected her not to eat much. I thought that she would be shy and would eat only a little. Never did it cross my mind that she would finish the whole plate of rice. There was not a single grain of rice left.
Her first night here which was on 27 September 2005, we locked her in the cage. We did not want to pamper her for her own good. The plan was to let her roam free in the day and lock her in during her bedtime. However, she did not like it. She was barking so loudly that the neighbours and us could not have a good night sleep. My mom checked on her before she went to bed and she found her paws resting in her bowl which was full of water. She loved water very much but to my surprise, she hates bathing. The pattering of the rain on the roofs was her favourite sound after the sound of her bowl being loaded with delicious food.
From that first night on, we failed to lock her. She had the biggest kennel - our compound. She changed my pastime too. I loved looking at her whenever she sat by the door. I would call her name and she would be hoping that I would give her favourite Julie biscuits. I taught her some new tricks. And she learnt really fast. Although she would never understand the game of Fetch!, I am still very proud of her. Her type of game was not what ordinary dogs play. She would fetch the tennis ball that I threw and grabbed it tightly in between her teeth and not let go. She wanted me to grab the ball from her mouth. Sometimes the grip was strong, sometimes it was not.
Towel, another favourite item of hers. She would play tug-a-war whenever I tried grabbing the towel from her. Biting is her passion. She had such strong teeth just like steel. One thing for sure, she did not use those 'steels' to bite me. Her over-excitedness would only result to the scratches on my legs. I did not mind. I love her just the same. I am still having the scratch she gave me and it was fading fast. At times, I do not want that would to heal. Why can't it just remain there to be a part of me?
Whenever I went out, she would follow me to the gate and wagged her beautiful bushy tail. She would do the same when I returned home each time. Occasionally, she was so lazy that she would lie down in front of the gate waiting for me or some cats which she liked to bark at. Once she saw one, she would bark so loudly and would only stop when the cat disappeared.
She was not so picky when it comes to food. Although she chose her food sometimes, she did not trouble me. I cooked the same kind of food that she would finish so there was not any wastage of food. Another wonder about her is her extremely good bowel system. She could excrete almost immediately after she had eaten. I was so relieved that she was born as a healthy dog. Very, very healthy.
She continued to grow mature and more obedient to commands. I would command her to sit and she would obey.
Fate, something that is cruel and unforgiving. It made a turning point in my life without me realising it. The coming of it was unannouced. That fateful day was the worst day for her. She was run over by a four-wheeled drive. She ran home on fours right after the accident on that day, 16 May 2007. I could feel her pain. She was whining so pitifully that I cried my heart out. I did not want to lose her!
We sent her to the vet and the veterinian said that if she manage to go through 24 hours, she would be all right. I was a little bit relieved to hear that. That night, I could not eat much. The appetite just disappeared. She looked normal that night.
The following day, I returned home after school and saw her still doing quite fine. Her stomach was bloated. I thought it was wind. She could no longer eat but she could drink a lot of water. Her stomach continued to swell. I applied some oil for her and she seemed to get better. However, that night, her condition deteriorated. She was so weak and almost fainted while sitting up straight by the door. I was getting paranoid. What if she leaves me tonight?
I knew I could never accept it. My mom thought she would die that night and three of us, my mom, sis and I cried and hugged her. Please don't leave us..please don't! We were crying the whole night accompanying her.
On the 18 May, I opened the door, expecting the worst. She was still alive. I was really glad! I was telling my mom that I would consider letting her go for the surgery that the vet had suggested. Later in the day, my mom told me that the vet came and she did not need the surgery. Her stomach was bloated because there were blood clots and she would heal in no time. I could never express how happy I felt that day. It was as if the sun was shining extremely bright that it would not rain anymore. She was getting more active after being injected with some nourishments. She was well that night until the next day.
19 May 2007 - The day she left me. She was still normal in the morning. She vomited a few times. She drank a lot of water but urinated little. She returned home to the Lord at about 11.30 a.m. in front of us - my mom, sister and I. I closed her eyes and bid her goodbye with a silent prayer for the final time. All those happy moments I had with her seemed to freeze at that point of time. I could never see her again. All that I could see was her body, getting stiffer every minute.
I thank the Lord for giving me the opportunity to appreciate her more during the 3 extra days I had with her. Love is not about possessing but it's about learning to let go and be happy for one to be able to attain greater happiness. Just like her, I want her to suffer no more and I believe very well that life in paradise is something which will make her happy and obtain eternal freedom. She will always the greatest being I have ever known and I will keep her in my heart. Someday, I will meet her again in heaven. The separation is only temporary.
I love you, Saffy.
Dearest Aunt Esther,
I will post something for your sake. This shows how much I love and respect you. Hehe. I will at least let this post be on the top so that your beautiful picture will not be seen so obvious.
Is this long enough? I guess it is. :)
A very special post dedicated to Aunt Esther.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
It's a little late but it's the heart that counts, right? :o)
How long have I been absent? More or less one month? Anyway, lots have been happening and I don't think I could write it all out. It'll take centuries for me to do so.
This month has been a pretty good April for me since the first day of the month. April Fool's Day was really fun. I managed to trick quite a number of people with success.
VICTIM NUMBER 1:
I told my mom that Superstar has been cancelled since one of the contestants encountered some problem. The funniest question was, "What happened to him? Is he dying?" I couldn't help laughing and I gave a congratulatory message to her which sounded like this, "CONGRATULATIONS! YOU'VE BEEN FOOLED!"
VICTIM NUMBER 2:
I lied to Gary saying that the chess competition in KL has been postponed to the 28th April. He tried confirming with me and I told him that it's true. I waited for his reply and there wasn't any. So I suspected he must have called his friend to confirm the date. I sent this to him, "CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE BEEN CHEATED! HAVE A NICE DAY!" Soon enough, he replied saying he called all the way to Singapore to ask his friend about the competition. His friend had a good laugh at him knowing that he was tricked. LOL..
VICTIM NUMBER 3:
Here's another good one. I messaged Chia How saying that I was outside his house and asked him to open the door. It was a bit tricky trying to outwit him though. He replied, "Come la." Okay, that was not enough to send the congratulatory message to him. So I sent another message saying that it was very hot outside the burning sun. Again, his reply disappointed me. "I can't see you. You are on the tree is it?" I told him to look left and assured him that I was not on the tree. Then I confessed the 'truth' saying that my intention was to tell him that a girl likes him. I was pretty sure this will work and it did! He replied, "Who is it la? Is it you? Haha.." Then I sent the message: CONGRATULATIONS! YOU'VE BEEN FOOLED! HAVE A NICE DAY. He tried to defend himself saying that he was not fooled as he was merely asking whether I was the girl who likes him. My reply to him was, "If you are not fooled, you might as well said 'DON'T BELIEVE' instead of asking me who that girl is." I finally made him surrendered.
VICTIM NUMBER 4:
I messaged Evelyn telling her that teacher asked her to do presentation on the following day. Actually it was not supposed to be her turn. I told her that the teacher made a mistake in the order of the presentations and required her to present first. She called me right after she received the message. I know she is gullible. I told her it was a joke and she said I gave her the shock of her life as she hadn't prepared (she was at the graveyard, by the way).
I trick all these people through sms so that they do not see my expression and will take the messages for real. :o)
What a long day today! Went to the library to search for lyrics to fit into the song for lagu puisi competition and then headed straight on for lunch opposite Jusco. After that, my dad brought my sister and I to cut our hair. And here is the most annoying part.
One of the assistants there used the straightening iron clippers to straighten my hair. I admit that my hair was a little bit wavy as I had it tied up previously so I did not mind at first. But the moment she clipped my hair over and over again with the clippers, I was thinking, "Okay, this is getting bad...." She continued tormenting my hair slowly. The worst part was when she clipped on the same bunch of hair for quite a long time. I could truly hear my hair crying. When she had completed steaming my hair, I quickly touched it. It felt so hot! It was obvious that my hair was flattened and it now looked little.
The trip to Jusco enlightened me somehow. Bought some stuffs before going home to cook for my dearie dearie Saffy. This is the end result of her dinner:
Noodles with luncheon meat and some desserts. The desserts are not made by me. They are bought. Made in Malaysia special delicacy. :D
Saffy loved it so much that she finished everything (as usual). Now, she's sleeping with her heart, mind and soul full of content.
The AF season has begun. I love the auditions as I can laughed my head off listening to them. I am terribly sorry for being mean. Tell me, who can suppress laughter when something hilarious comes so near to your ears?
I am not trying to condemn anyone here. I really salute those who went for the audition. I will never have the courage to do so. Even if their singings are bad, I respect them for being who they are and not afraid of being laughed at.
My sleepiness is getting the better of me but I feel the need to post something here.
I received a message from my mom this afternoon asking me how the turtles were doing and this is what I replied.
"They look lively."
Well, of course, my mom was convinced that they were dead since I mentioned that they 'look lively' instead of 'being alive'. I really had a good laugh after that and something came back into my memory. One of them really had died last year. I could remember the still and puppeted figure which I held before burrying it in the nearby field. Its head was hanging low and it seemed to have suffered prior to its death. Its eyes were half-closed as though it was having a peaceful rest. I cried the whole night thinking that I have killed it. Maybe it was really my fault. Guilt is still overwhelming every time I reminisce about it.
The thing about me is that, I tend to get really touchy when it comes to issues regarding dying animals with the condition that I witness the deaths myself. My eyes will go teary when I watch or read animals being tortured in the most inhuman ways. Even when my dad hit Saffy, I could not help defending her when I know clearly that she deserved the punishment.
Lizards, however, is totally another issue. I hate them. Or, you can call it fear rather than hatred. I can never feel sorry for them when they dies. Most probably I will feel disgusted and would want to get rid of the 'dead bodies' as soon as possible. I have no idea what they are doing here. Sometimes, I use this as a food for thought: Are they beneficial to us? They may have served the purpose of killing insects which harbour on the walls for us but I still shudder when I realise a lizard is at bay less than two feet from me. The very moment I notice one of these mini dinosaurs lurking in a corner with tiny, black eyes, I would be dashing off in the opposite direction. Sometimes, I would scream if one caught me off-guard. Another thing that I really hate is their velocity. The way they move which was a little too fast for my eyes to catch a glimpse of them is another factor of why I hate them so much. I am afraid of something that I missed. Which is particularly true why I hate being absent from school. I do not like to be left in the dark.
My B.M. sir told us something about psychology today and I found it really interesting. He drew an 'S' on the white board and asked us in which perspective do we look at the bold 'S'. He said some people said the background of the 'S' is black. Everyone in class said otherwise. How can it be a black background when it was written on a white board? He later explained that certain people who are more to the 'creative side' or harshly labelled as the pessimistic ones look at the whole picture with the 'S' being a puncture on the white board. He added on that the people in this category view things in extraordinary ways and tend to judge things in the wrong way. For this, I am glad that I am normal.
The other day, I went out for a cup of tea with a friend whom I have not met for a long time. He taught me a lot about facing reality in life and it really made me think how I have been taking life so lightly all these years. There are just so much that I could do with my life rather than dreaming about life that I could never get. The life that I really wanted but never could get no matter how hard I try. Real life scenarios are not as blissful as fictional lives that we read in books or watch on television. I wonder, what can I do with my life? How can I enrich it? Many questions started popping into my head and it all ended all in a messy, tangled up strings of confusion. I could think no more.
I notice I love to jumble up the topics when I update. I just don't know why. Maybe it's due to the fact that I write whatever that comes to my mind first which proves that I am not much of a planner. I would write about this. Then, I think maybe I should quit blabbering on the same issue and move on to another one. A die-hard habit which I cannot get rid of.
My neighbour must be smoking again. I just could not stand the smell of burnt nicotine and tar. Not only are my eyes tired, my nose is getting irritated all due to the 'good deed' of my neighbour. I wonder how Saffy could stand it since she has better smelling sense than me.
Happy Chap Goh Meh a.k.a. Chinese Valentine Day! It's the fifteenth day of the CNY. Sad. Last day to collect angpows. Hehe. Is there anyone out there throwing oranges into the seas?
Don't waste them. This method won't work. I am really sceptical when it comes to practices like this. Hope the Year of the Rat will come soon. :)
Once again, another week is about to end. And it is already the 13th day of Chinese New Year. Time is speeding like it used to. I am glad of one thing though.
I'VE SAT FOR MY FEBRUARY TEST PAPERS!
At least I don't have to be a physician anymore to predict the questions that would be coming out. Got back two subjects and they are satisfactory. I could ask for nothing more. A mere little creature in this vast universe must learn to be satisfied of what I deserved and not be complaining. However, I must not be too complacent at the same time.
It's time to move on!
I dream dreams. But none of them seemed to be related to my studies. All I could say is that they were too fictional. I am a dreamy kind of person. Quick, someone pull me back to reality! Is there any kind of metal in books that could attract them towards me? In this case, I want to be the magnet simply because I just have to wait for the books to come to me rather than me going to them. I hate myself sometimes. My attitude is still the same. As lazy as ever. I really wonder when would the day when I learn to be hardworking comes. Maybe it won't take long to come. I am sure by STPM, I will as good as the ants and bees.
I've deleted the previous post as the images were not able to be viewed. Too bad. The pictures were interesting and you get to see my cooking. Haha..
Overall, it has been quite a good new year for me although I only have a week of holidays. =)
The exam will begin on Monday and it didn't seem like a big deal. I was thinking, what on earth is wrong with me? However, I am sure I am taking everything seriously but..
There's always a BUT in every sentence. There's always a reason or rather an excuse for not starting to prepare seriously. I just need something of a threat to get me focused. Maybe most people are facing the same problem but maybe they can handle this better?
Currently still busy eating and drinking and having fun. It's the New Year! I will focus on this first. Hope it won't be too late for me to make my plans on turning on the studious channel most of the time.
Another Valentine is about to end.
The difference between this year and last year was that NO mandarin oranges are thrown into the sea or river. Safe from pollution. =)
Another new day will begin tomorrow and someone GREAT will come to inspect the school. Hope everything goes well. I am sure the principal cannot sleep tonight thinking about tomorrow. LOL..
And I am going to sleep well tonight with the sudden change of weather. The clouds must be too tired of keeping all the moisture within them that they finally gave them in to gravity. It's like the earth is turning into a black hole pulling the water down onto earth, defying the CLOUDS. Poor cloudies! Their 'babies' are gone and they no longer look dark and gloomy. Now, they look more cheerful with their original colour, WHITE! I just love that colour!
The brief rain came and went just like that. I wonder why can't it last through the night. :/
Big, fat new year PIGGIE$ for sale! $$$
Prosperity pig$ wishing you a very...
HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!
A jelly which took the shape of its packet. I used to think only liquids do that. Not anymore. :)
A very wonderful day.
My chocolate fudge cake! Super delicious!
Hawaiian Pizza
A birthday pizza sponsored by Pizza Hut
Guess what this drink is made of. It's neither milk shake nor white coffee. It's a mixture of vanilla ice-cream and Pepsi. Looks delicious, right?
Another 40 minutes and my birthday is officially over. Next year will not be the same as I won't be celebrating as a teen.
I've made a lot of wishes and I hope all will be granted. I am a greedy pig, I know.
A VERY BIG THANK YOU TO ALL WHO WISHED ME. IT'S REALLY THOUGHTFUL OF YOU TO REMEMBER!
I will remember your birthdays too!
An entry I typed for the sake of Miss Chan Suk Wai. You better be reading this and post comment as I am a rare blogger who rarely blogs.
As uneventful as it is these days, I still find school a nice place to study despite the stress that has been constantly developing knowing that days are burning and before I realise, it's time for the major war.
Sports practice begins next week (if I am not mistaken) and I am still feeling a tinge of laziness not to start doing any practice of that sort. By the way, I still love CHESS! I guess that is the reason why. I will never like the outdoors (except for occasional outing in the park, of course:D).
Something that I wish to share. A very touching and thought provoking story of a boy named Teddy Stoddard.
I nearly got all teary after reading. I hope I will be like Teddy. Never to forget my teachers, especially my favourite ones since my primary school days.
When I was in Standard One, my favourite teacher was my class teacher. She ventured into a jewellery business later on and gave up on teaching. She was a whole lot of fun!
When I was in Standard Two, I used to like none of the teachers. Why? Because I compared them with my class teacher the previous year and I found them not as interesting.
When I was in Standard Three, I love my English teacher. She was rich (still is, I think) and drove a sporty red car. Everyone used to stare at her glamourous vehicle and I heard her said once "What are you looking at?" to the staring eyes. From that day on, no one dared to look obviously in her car's direction. Her name is Mrs. Ooi. She taught the class a lot of songs to spice her lessons up.
She remained as my favourite teacher for the rest of my primary years right up to the year I sat for UPSR.
In my secondary years, I love all my maths teachers.
Now, I love my Economics and Maths teachers. They are dedicated in their jobs which has earned themselves credits from me. Haha! As if my opinions mattered...
Happy 100th birthday, Convent!.jpg)
I remember these steps of doom. SPM examination hall
From left: Me, Puan Poh a.k.a Susan (one of my favourite maths teachers in Upper Secondary years) and Miss Lee
Outside the canopy after the rain
Antique
It feels so surreal to think that I will be sitting for a major examination this year. I hope I'm dreaming the reality and all my dreams will be reality instead. Been having such sweet chocolatey dreams.
Sigh. So much to complete yet the time is toooooo LIMITED!!
Essay, essay, essay. Nothing better to do other than that. Sometimes I do think that:
